I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
