thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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