I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
