ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
