Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
