and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
