and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
