i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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