Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
