I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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