nut hugger
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
