Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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