At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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