How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
