Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
