I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
