Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
