He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
