I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
