the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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