no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We need to rekindle our bromance
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
