We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
