it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
