So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
