I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
