the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
