if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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