I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
