i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
