I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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