i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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