Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
