uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
