# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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