No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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