I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
