Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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