i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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