I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
