Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
