The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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