It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
