What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
