i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
