Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just pee around me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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