You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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