if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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