tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
