is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
