my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
