Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
